Matthew 23:12

Its been a minute. However, I promised you guys my thoughts and here they are. I have been swamped with work which I why I haven't blogged in a long time but my schedule has just lifted a little. There's much to be spoken about in the past two weeks of my life but the most recent event has been the one that has affected me the most.

Last Wednesday, Feb. 16th, I flew into Ithaca, NY to visit my Alma mater. I was invited as a guest speaker there to be apart of the "Soup and Hope" Speaker Series and it was probably the best decision ever. It felt to good to be back on campus, and for this time....for business and not pleasure. My best friend landed minutes after me and we started to reminisce the way we often do when we are together.

I woke up around 630am the next morning, not because I had butterflies about the upcoming speech in a few hours but because of a vivid nightmare about a childhood event that I had been reliving as I wrote my speech and performed it in front of the mirror for the first time at 8am that morning. Battling with whether or not I should even share this with anyone was the bigger decision. Does Cornell need to hear this? Does anyone need to hear it? Do I want to give even my friends and frat 'this much'? I decided that I would do whatever came to my heart on that stage. And I did.

At 12:20 I took my place at the podium with an easy 150 people present from all walks of life. My frat brothers, doves, best friends, family, even my psychotherapist from CAPS and my financial advisor who got me much needed financial aid all four years of my undergraduate career. It was so fulfilling to be standing before such great people, there only to hear me speak. Up until this point, I didn't realize that my words, thoughts, and history was that important.

I could go into details about my speech but there's no need. The outcome, however, is what is most important. I have never had a more gratifying and humbling experience that what I had this weekend. Although, my chapter could have done much more to make their prophytes stage more luxurious, it was a wonderful trip nonetheless. I am anxious to see the articles and the photos that are produced as a result of this weekend.

I continually hope and pray that my supporters will never give up on me. That they will stand by me no matter what, hug me when I need it, smack me back into reality when it's necessary, and stand by me even when I'm wrong. I learned a lot about people this weekend, even my close friends and frat brothers, and in turn many of them heard things they have never known about me. Yet, their unwavering love has kept me sane and happy despite it all. To future looks bright for Formula 22, Inc., Phoudations of Brothers and Sisters Through Writing Others (PBS TWO), the three books I'm working on, and my plans in academia. Grow with me, learn with me, live through me.